Crunch. And Crunch. And ow.

Day 2 of Muffin Top May.

My muffin top hurts.

My legs hurt.

Everything hurts.

No pain, no gain though!!!!!

"It's Time for a Few Small Repairs", she said.

Or large ones. 

sorry for the blurriness, cats, and my sleeping kids in the background. 

I got on the scale today. 

229.6

UGH. It's easily the heaviest I have ever been, and I feel horrible about it. 

Before anyone preaches to me about loving yourself at any size, I do love myself...and this is why things have to change. I love myself enough to realize that this is not a healthy weight for me. 

My older sister sent me pictures of us from her wedding. 

dang it, y'all, I was CUTE. and skinny. 

I realize that 16 year old me is an unrealistic goal. I've been pregnant 5 times since then, I have two living kids, I'm pumping for my 11 month old...blah blah blah. But I can be better than 229.6

Hell, I HAVE to be better than 229.6

I'm GOING to be better. 

I finished day 1 of the May exercise challenge. 

It's a brand new month and I am honestly ready to kick some ass. 

I think one of the things that's killing me is sitting down to pump and then dragging my ass (watching Netflix etc) even after I'm done pumping. 

NO more. 

I already gave up Dr. Pepper...actually all soda. I need to up my water intake too. 

Small steps!!!! 

Where have I been?

WELLLLL...


I got pregnant.


And had a baby.


And lost a bunch of weight.


And gained a bunch back because pumping.

This sweet thang is Josie. She's 11 months old.
I'm ready to kick some weight loss ass so that I can keep up with my girls!!!!

This starts tomorrow. I'm ready to make a change. THE CHANGE.
This WILL be my last plus size summer.

Until tomorrow!!!

Incentives

I am now only 4 pounds from my first goal.
Incentive?
I'm going to color my hair.
Violet.
Yep. Going to kick butt this week!

Stay tuned, because this is totally happening.
I'm drinking more water and making a point to get out more. Nothing fancy, no crash diets, no cabbage soup every day. Noticing a difference in my skin and my hair and my energy level.

6 Pounds

6 pounds is what stands between me and my first goal.
6 measly pounds.
Argh.
I can do this.
Because I have to.
For my health.
For my husband, and our daughter, and any future kids we may have.
I.
Can.
Do.
This!

Incentive...

I got on a scale at work the other day.
Instead of being the 209 or what I expected, I weighed in a 204.4.
After the stomach bug from hell, I got down to about 204...
this isn't even actual weight gain.

But it is incentive to work even harder. Because if I can lose/maintain without even trying, imagine what I can actually do with hard, butt-kicking work!

There's an old Polish proverb...

"Raz na wozie, raz pod wozem..." which translates roughly to "Sometimes, you're driving the wagon, sometimes you're under the wagon."

I feel under the wagon today.

I went to the thrift store today and literally NOTHING from the non-plus size rack fit.
Talk about discouraging.

I briefly considered slimming shapewear to make jeans fit better, etc...and then I realized...
the whole point of this isn't to LOOK skinnier.

It's to BE skinnier.

So, back to myfitnesspal for me. Maybe I should take a cue from my 10 year old and go dance in the rain. I heard that burns lots of calories.