"It's Time for a Few Small Repairs", she said.

Or large ones. 

sorry for the blurriness, cats, and my sleeping kids in the background. 

I got on the scale today. 

229.6

UGH. It's easily the heaviest I have ever been, and I feel horrible about it. 

Before anyone preaches to me about loving yourself at any size, I do love myself...and this is why things have to change. I love myself enough to realize that this is not a healthy weight for me. 

My older sister sent me pictures of us from her wedding. 

dang it, y'all, I was CUTE. and skinny. 

I realize that 16 year old me is an unrealistic goal. I've been pregnant 5 times since then, I have two living kids, I'm pumping for my 11 month old...blah blah blah. But I can be better than 229.6

Hell, I HAVE to be better than 229.6

I'm GOING to be better. 

I finished day 1 of the May exercise challenge. 

It's a brand new month and I am honestly ready to kick some ass. 

I think one of the things that's killing me is sitting down to pump and then dragging my ass (watching Netflix etc) even after I'm done pumping. 

NO more. 

I already gave up Dr. Pepper...actually all soda. I need to up my water intake too. 

Small steps!!!! 

Where have I been?

WELLLLL...


I got pregnant.


And had a baby.


And lost a bunch of weight.


And gained a bunch back because pumping.

This sweet thang is Josie. She's 11 months old.
I'm ready to kick some weight loss ass so that I can keep up with my girls!!!!

This starts tomorrow. I'm ready to make a change. THE CHANGE.
This WILL be my last plus size summer.

Until tomorrow!!!

There's an old Polish proverb...

"Raz na wozie, raz pod wozem..." which translates roughly to "Sometimes, you're driving the wagon, sometimes you're under the wagon."

I feel under the wagon today.

I went to the thrift store today and literally NOTHING from the non-plus size rack fit.
Talk about discouraging.

I briefly considered slimming shapewear to make jeans fit better, etc...and then I realized...
the whole point of this isn't to LOOK skinnier.

It's to BE skinnier.

So, back to myfitnesspal for me. Maybe I should take a cue from my 10 year old and go dance in the rain. I heard that burns lots of calories.

Where the Heck Have I Been?

Work.
Oh, and Wisconsin.
Then work again.

My daughter and I went to visit my parents, and a grand time was had by all for the first half of the vacay. Then, my Dad came down with some horrible stomach bug that ended up coming back down south with us.

So...work.
Wisconsin.
Fighting the stomach bug.

That's where I've been.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Tomorrow, I shall blog something constructive.

Just wanted ya'll to know I'm not dead.

My city! When I go back next year, I will no longer be a plus size. Mark.my.words.